A Split in the Flushing Sewer
Splitting four games with an already eliminated Mets team isn’t exactly parade worthy, but at least the Phillies left that dump with their dignity intact.
Aaron Nola opened the series by throwing seven shutout innings in a 3–0 win. Then the Phillies spent Friday and Saturday reminding us why trusting this bullpen is like buying sushi from a Kensington gas station. They lost 6–3 Friday, then blew a 3–1 lead Saturday and got their asses kicked, 10–3.
Thankfully, Cristopher Sánchez restored order Sunday. He allowed two runs over 6⅓ innings, Luis Arraez drove in two, and Justin Crawford cleared the bases with a three-run triple as the Phillies won 7–2.
A split against those scumbags wasn’t the goal, but the Phillies finished the weekend 86–70, four games ahead of Arizona for the final Wild Card spot with a magic number of three. Now they return home to face the best team in baseball, Milwaukee.
The division is gone. October is not. Handle your business, and, as always, fuck the Mets.
The Eagles Are 2–0 and Apparently Allergic to Winning Normally
The Eagles went into Nashville, played on turf hot enough to melt cleats, lost Saquon Barkley for part of the game, watched Dallas Goedert leave with a knee injury, turned the ball over twice, and somehow walked out with a 24–20 win.
Jalen Hurts wasn’t perfect. He threw two interceptions, including one on the opening drive, but when the game was on the line, he delivered. Hurts marched the Birds 65 yards and found Darius Cooper for the game-winning three-yard touchdown with nine seconds left.
DeVonta Smith was an absolute monster with 10 catches for 117 yards and a touchdown. Hurts finished with 264 yards and two scores, while Jake Elliott kept the Eagles alive by drilling a 58-yard field goal.
Was it pretty? Hell no. Did it raise my blood pressure? Absolutely. But 2–0 is 2–0, and when everything went sideways, Hurts still put the team on his back. Next up is Monday Night Football against the Bears. Go Birds, Dickhead.
Union–Sporting KC Wrap-Up
Down 3–0? Apparently the Union Had Them Right Where They Wanted Them
The Union fell behind Sporting Kansas City 3–0 in the first 16 minutes Saturday night and looked completely cooked. Then Quinn Sullivan entered at halftime, helped change the entire attack and the Boys in Blue went absolutely nuts. Bruno Damiani started the comeback in the 64th minute, Cavan Sullivan scored two minutes later, Milan Iloski tied it in the 68th and a Sporting KC own goal completed the public meltdown in the 73rd.
That’s four goals in nine minutes and a ridiculous 4–3 Union victory. Cavan officially finished with one goal and one assist, while Quinn recorded the assist on Cavan’s goal. The comeback extended the Union’s unbeaten streak to 11 matches, tying the club record. They return to Subaru Park on Saturday, September 26, to face Orlando City. DOOP!
One Win from Hanging a Banner in Baseballtown
The Reading Fightin Phils return home Tuesday night with a chance to win the Eastern League Championship.
Reading took Game 1 in Erie, 1–0, surviving a full-blown pitchers’ duel before finally breaking through in the ninth. Erie’s closer walked the bases loaded, and a sacrifice fly brought home the only run of the game.
It wasn’t flashy, but playoff baseball doesn’t care how pretty it looks. Reading’s pitching kept Erie off the scoreboard, the Fightins stayed patient, and now the SeaWolves have to win two straight games in Baseballtown to steal the title.
Game 2 starts Tuesday at 6:45 p.m. at FirstEnergy Stadium. The formula is simple: keep throwing strikes, make Erie’s pitchers work and don’t let the moment become bigger than the game. Win Tuesday and Reading claims its first Eastern League championship since 1995.
One more win. One packed ballpark. Go finish the damn thing, and Jawnie will be in the booth watching the fireworks! Go Fightins!
-Jawn Kruk
Side Jawn Sports
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